Embrace Your Journey

This past week, I have felt better than I have in months. Maybe even years. I have felt so at peace, more confident in myself, comfortable in my own skin, and happy. Truly happy. And no, the world didn’t suddenly turn to rainbows and butterflies, and no, everything’s not perfect. I still have a lot of stress, still feel massive anxiety, still have struggles, fears, worries… But there’s something different. Why, you ask? Because I took charge of my life. For once, I made a decision. A big decision. To do something scary and unconventional and new.

What did I do?

I dropped a class. Yeah, I know, that sounds pretty lame. You’re probably thinking Um… Ruby, everyone drops classes. This isn’t a novelty. Well, you’re right. But in my case, it was a big deal. It was a big deal because everyone else in my small major program (about 14 people!) was signed up to take this class. It was a big deal because I had been struggling with this decision for months, and by months I mean probably half a year. It was a big decision because I chose to do what was right for me, instead of just following along with what everyone else was doing for fear of being different.

But really, I am different. I have my own journey to live and embrace.  When I began to accept this truth, I started to free myself. I don’t have to continue in a major I don’t want to do just because I’m scared of what people will think or what I’ll be missing. I can do something risky like start a blog, even if people think it’s weird or stupid. I’m on my OWN path. I have my own journey to embrace. And this is what I want you to learn. This is the ultimate realization that will set you free: You are on a unique and personal journey, and you are in charge of that journey. YOU are in control.

I spent hours and hours (and I mean probably a solid 2+ hours every day of my summer break) stressing and worrying and freaking out because I didn’t want to be that person who dropped out of my degree program. I didn’t want people to think I was weak and couldn’t do it. I didn’t want to venture into the unknown with no basis of comfort or prior reassurance that it was the right choice. I liked my little comfortable bubble where I was already sitting. I wanted to stay there.

But I didn’t want to stay there.

I was caught up in the fear of the unknown: the uncertainty of a new path and a hard decision. I couldn’t make a drastic choice to drop my major right then and there. It was too much for me.

So I dropped a class.

But even just in dropping a class, I set myself free. I suddenly felt a lifting pressure— a new sense of control and power. I made a decision and I stuck with it, and now I can do anything. And no, it’s not easy. And yes, my path will be hard and I will struggle. But I have one chance at life, and I want to do it right. I want to follow my heart and my passion and my love, instead of following a path for the sake of remaining comfortable and “stable”. I want to LOVE my life and the work I’m doing, and I want to be able to tell myself years down the road that I FOLLOWED MY DREAMS AND GAVE IT MY BEST EFFORT, even if they fail. And that’s my point. The unknown and risky paths can be terrifying. Trust me I know. But you will not truly find happiness until you recognize your own journey and embrace it. We are all different. We all have a different journey to embark on, a different life to lead, a different story to tell. And the longer you sit and wait for a sign or dwell on a decision because it’s scary, the more life you’re missing out on, and the more opportunities are passing you by.

Embrace it. The sucky, the scary, the hard, the seemingly impossible, the unknown, the uncomfortable, the new. Embrace it. Take charge of your life, because no one else is going to do it for you. Drop a class, find a new major, drop out of college to pursue an unconventional profession, try new things, take a risk, quit your job… IF THE PATH YOU’RE ON IS NOT RIGHT FOR YOU, CHANGE IT. You will feel so powerful, so in control, so relieved when you finally decide to put aside the expectations and the fears and follow your path in life. Try it. You’ll see what I mean.